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hear here

It's Friday night, and I have no idea what to do.  I finally finished my essays for college applications, and they will go in tommorrow afternoon. Of course I could do homework, or read, but instead I bought 3 different magazines, and am sitting on my ass watching tv reruns. I do have the house all to myself which is nice, except I would do the same exact thing if my Dad & Stepmom were here, but silence can be a good thing.

School...hmmm, too much to say about school. To be honest I am really not enjoying this semester, I don't know if its just that I am in a different mind set, or I don't particularly like one of my teachers, or that some of my classmates disturb me by their stupidty.  Though speaking of stupidty I must say joining English 54 British Literature, hasn't made me feel like the smartest person. I guess because we never really studied too much British Literature in high school or at Ai, so my train of thought is a little wonky.  Science has actually become a fun class, much different than I expected, and Advertising is pretty much starting to get fun.  Now as for Visual Merchandising that is a whole 'notha level! That bitch is crazy. I can honestly say in all my years of education, and especially public education, this is by far the worst teacher I have ever had. I thought my Macro-Economics teacher was bad, pffftttt nothing compared to this.

So I am 24 now,  by at least 12 days. My birthday went well, I feel really old now, and going to that transfer open house at Emerson, made me feel even older. I guess I have to realize that sometimes growing up too fast, and having to become more independent as a child can be a bad thing. Odd enough to say, but I wish I made more mistakes as a teen, rather than always being so good. Though I am happy I've never done drugs, or drank, I guess I just wish I felt a bit more normal as a teen, so that way I don't feel so regretful of my youth.  Plus too, I wish I wasn't so angry as a kid and teen, but then again it was the situation I was dealt with, and I have to look back and realize that I was taking out my anger on people who didn't deserve it (i.e. friends), and that I shouldn't have let them become so pent up. 

But through all this, I keep trying to be positive, it may not always seem like it, and hell sometimes I prefer a good cry, then having to deal with life at that moment, but I have to keep going. Something will happen, it just has to. I am trying to be positive for what the summer will hold, I know I wont be in school because I can't afford it, but maybe I could get an internship somewhere, more job hours, maybe save up some money and do a long weekend trip somewhere.  

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